Kathleen Friesen

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Thoughts on Isolation

6/10/2012

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Because I am married to the most gentle, loving man on the face of the earth, it is almost impossible for me to get inside the mind of an abused woman. But I need to try because my next novel follows Nila as she tries to rebuild her life after being dominated and battered for so long.

But I think I may have gained a sliver of insight through my involuntary solitude of the last five-and-a-half weeks.

When my husband returned home after a long day of work yesterday, I realized I hadn't seen or spoken to anyone since he'd left early that morning. Why? It seems the longer I am housebound, the less I reach out to others. Several friends have offered to help me, and I could have phoned any one of them, but I didn't. I was lonely but encased in my loneliness.

Now I wonder if this is a clue into the mentality of victims of domestic violence. Do they become used to feeling alone, even deserted? Is that why asking for help is so difficult? I am blessed to be loved, affirmed and aware that even when I feel alone, I know that God is with me. But what if none of that support was available? How can a person who is told over and over that she is worthless have the self-value to stand up for herself in any way?  How can someone who is beaten by the one who claims to love her dare to reach out to anyone else?

I don't know. But I would like to, and that's why I need your help. If you have any insights about abuse and its effects, please leave a comment or contact me at kf1928@telus.net. Thank you. You are important!
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    I’ve always loved music, even before the writing bug hit. Grace notes are little extras, not the actual melody. Just something that adds to the feel of the music. My desire for this blog is to encourage and bless readers, to share a little grace.

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