Because I am married to the most gentle, loving man on the face of the earth, it is almost impossible for me to get inside the mind of an abused woman. But I need to try because my next novel follows Nila as she tries to rebuild her life after being dominated and battered for so long.
But I think I may have gained a sliver of insight through my involuntary solitude of the last five-and-a-half weeks.
When my husband returned home after a long day of work yesterday, I realized I hadn't seen or spoken to anyone since he'd left early that morning. Why? It seems the longer I am housebound, the less I reach out to others. Several friends have offered to help me, and I could have phoned any one of them, but I didn't. I was lonely but encased in my loneliness.
Now I wonder if this is a clue into the mentality of victims of domestic violence. Do they become used to feeling alone, even deserted? Is that why asking for help is so difficult? I am blessed to be loved, affirmed and aware that even when I feel alone, I know that God is with me. But what if none of that support was available? How can a person who is told over and over that she is worthless have the self-value to stand up for herself in any way? How can someone who is beaten by the one who claims to love her dare to reach out to anyone else?
I don't know. But I would like to, and that's why I need your help. If you have any insights about abuse and its effects, please leave a comment or contact me at kf1928@telus.net. Thank you. You are important!
But I think I may have gained a sliver of insight through my involuntary solitude of the last five-and-a-half weeks.
When my husband returned home after a long day of work yesterday, I realized I hadn't seen or spoken to anyone since he'd left early that morning. Why? It seems the longer I am housebound, the less I reach out to others. Several friends have offered to help me, and I could have phoned any one of them, but I didn't. I was lonely but encased in my loneliness.
Now I wonder if this is a clue into the mentality of victims of domestic violence. Do they become used to feeling alone, even deserted? Is that why asking for help is so difficult? I am blessed to be loved, affirmed and aware that even when I feel alone, I know that God is with me. But what if none of that support was available? How can a person who is told over and over that she is worthless have the self-value to stand up for herself in any way? How can someone who is beaten by the one who claims to love her dare to reach out to anyone else?
I don't know. But I would like to, and that's why I need your help. If you have any insights about abuse and its effects, please leave a comment or contact me at kf1928@telus.net. Thank you. You are important!
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