Why is it so hard? The negative whispers tell me I'm just not good enough. I can't do it. Perhaps two novels is all I have inside. I should just give up.
The positive voices, some of which belong to critique partners, tell me to keep working. That the story is good and the characters intriguing. The message is important.
But still I struggle. The last few days I've wondered if I should admit failure. Put this story away and, after a while, try something different. On my knees, I asked God to show me the truth. Am I fooling myself by thinking I can write another book?
Instead of a clear answer, I got another question: Where are the negative whispers coming from? I know that a lot of them stem from my life-long insecurity. But what if, I found myself wondering, the most potent negativity is coming from one who fears the message of Christ's redeeming love? Who doesn't want anyone to consider that, no matter what is in their past, God has a purpose for their life?
Now I feel within myself the stirrings of a mother protecting her cub. If the enemy cares enough about this story to do his best to discourage me, then I'd better do my best to thwart his plans.
Oh, I don't expect anything I write to make a bestsellers list, but I write anyway. Lately, I'd almost forgotten why. But my desire is to touch hearts and maybe even lives with God's love, His mercy, and His joy.
And that's worth fighting for.